What’s Right

4 converse

The Accidental Icon blogger Lyn Slater defines rightness as: “The quality or state of being true.”

The word rightness: “Allows us to be in charge.” We take the reigns as well as the reins.

In alignment with Slater I’ve posted my own parade of Converse sneakers:

From left to right: colorful Mara Hoffman – Missoni stripes – navy blue – hot pink ballet.

My rightness has been having the courage to say: “This is it–no more jeans.”

It’s heretic to tell readers this yet I don’t like wearing jeans.

Blue jeans are supposed to be the Great Equalizer–a democratic wardrobe item because everyone wears them.

Only I wear denim at most once a week. What is right for each of us is unique to who we are.

The trick with jeans is to pair them with a sharp blouse or a better jacket.

Part of throwing off the shackles of guilt is to embrace your quirks.

Your “rightness” can change over the years.

Rightness is a state of mind as well as sartorial bent.

What’s right in your life? Find it and express it honestly.

Whether it’s flaunting a pair of shoes or curating a mood:

A woman has the right to be true blue in her own inimitable fashion.


The Solution

I wanted to write about the solution as I see it. I wrote things out longhand over and over not satisfied with anything I wrote.

The solution might be as simple as liking yourself.

The fact is if you’re not living an authentic life it’s not possible to be happy or healthy.

(Cue the violin strings for my failed first career in insurance office jobs.)

I for one refuse to wear a suit or dress in neutrals. I need color and flair.

This is what I would tell readers: You have the right to be your original self.

Free of the torment of trying to please others and have them approve of you.

Ladies: I’m 54 years old and have stopped caring what people think.

Finally breaking free of the idea that I should conform.

I’m excited to read soon Beyond Beautiful the new Anuschka Rees book. This Curated Closet author replaced the body positive mantra with the term body neutral.

Narrowing down a woman’s worth to whether her body pleases a man or whether she lives up to a sexual ideal is just plain not right.

Wearing a cleavage-bearing mini-dress and stilettos won’t ever be my thing.

Fitting a mold holds no allure for me.

Living in menopause is the time to get things right in your head about how you feel about yourself.

In a coming blog entry I’m going to post 2 photos that illustrate this point. Along with what I’ve learned at 54 years old about self-acceptance.

It strikes me that if you turn 50 and still don’t like yourself this doesn’t bode well for when you turn 70.

I’ll end here with this affirmation:

Like yourself right now the way you are. Change what you’d like to change. Yet always remember that you’re the only person that has to like, approve of, and be happy with yourself.

Let Love Rule

It’s time to Let Love Rule like the Lenny Kravitz song title tells us to do.

Dwelling on the negative and consuming a steady diet of horror stories in news articles and Op-Ed pieces only serves to harm your mental health.

There’s a lot of hate in the world coming from all sides. The haters have been given a platform in the media.

I have no doubt that hate corrodes the soul of the hater as much as it damages the person they hate.

In my blog I’ve decided to focus on what I’m for instead of preaching about what I’m against.

I take great inspiration from the Accidental Icon blogger Lyn Slater.

She marries her fashion philosophy with enlightened thinking about social issues.

If you ask me we need to position recovery as an act of mental health justice.

Other words have preceded the word justice: food justice, social justice, environmental justice, and so on.

While I’m committed to these other forms of leveling the playing the field in society my prime focus is on mental health.

You can find inflammatory click-bait writing in newspapers online if that is your think and thing.

Be a committed citizen.

We live in an often sad and angry world. Where the old guard of those in power are spreading misinformation under the banner of alternative facts. In an attempt to hold on to their control.

Understand this dynamic. When it’s gotten you down I hope my blog can be the positive prescription for taking time to enjoy yourself.

Read the news should you be able to. Think for yourself about what’s going on and how to treat other people.

In my blog I seek to offer a remedy to the hate: joy, love, peace, and understanding.

In the coming blog entry I’ll talk about my solution.

I’m a fifty-four year old woman living through “the change” of life.

I have things to say and I’m not going to be afraid to say them.

This is what I know to be true:

To forgive is to heal. To love is to live.


Bill deBlasio

No one living in New York City likes Bill deBlasio our current 2-term mayor.

The one thing he did right was give the city workers their union raises. Former billionaire mayor Michael Bloomberg refused to give the city workers any raise at all. They went over 5 years without getting a pay raise.

Like every mayor before him deBlasio has green-lighted the development of multi-million dollar apartment buildings.

At the expense of creating affordable housing.

Under deBlasio’s helm the number of homeless people has skyrocketed.

This year the Hudson Yards upscale retail shopping and residential complex opened up. It cost something like billions of dollars to develop.

That money could’ve been used to create affordable housing for the homeless. Instead more homeless shelters were built.

One outright example of fraud is ThriveNYC an endeavor that prioritizes social issues as the cause of mental health conditions.

Not at all does ThriveNYC serve people with severe and chronic mental illness.

ThriveNYC is funded to the tune of $850 thousand dollars.

The list goes on.

I cannot recommend that a person fresh out of college moves to New York City to get a job and live. You would need to earn at least $90K to live on your own in my city.

My stance is to Just Say No to Bill deBlasio as president of the United States.

I tell you today: Mr. Toupee will be re-elected.

Mark my words: Mr. Toupee will win a second term in 2020.

As it is I’m no fan of any political party. I detest liberals and democrats as much as I hold republicans and conservatives in contempt.

Neither is better than any other.

I would possibly vote for Kirsten Gillibrand. Only in a face-off with Mr. Toupee she wouldn’t win.

It’s your choice who you vote for. And you should vote for the person you think will best serve your interests.

Ordinary Americans scraping by to make ends meet have historically been fleeced.

When Mr. Toupee lowered the tax rate the amount of taxes people had to pay come April 15th skyrocketed.

Now with his tariffs on Mexico the cost of avocados–which come here from Mexico–will skyrocket too.

What is the solution? I don’t expect much from our elected leaders in Washington.

As I stated before, real change will occur person-to-person.

We have to think for ourselves about how to treat other people.

We can choose to love others. We can decide for ourselves what is true.

Instead of allowing other people–and those elected in power–to tell us what to think.

I say: think for yourself. Vote for Bill deBlasio if you feel he’s the best candidate.

I’m not going to vote for deBlasio. His time as our mayor won’t end soon enough for my liking.

You’re lucky if you can afford to live in New York City today.

I’ll end here by telling you to get out and vote.

Call or write your elected leaders on the issues that matter to you too.

It will be a wild ride to see how the presidential campaign unfolds.

Hang in there.

Spreading Joy, Love, Peace, and Understanding

By reading about other women I’m inspired to spread joy, love, peace, and understanding.

Dua is Albanian for love.

The Dua Lipa interview in the May issue of Elle magazine has inspired me to no end.

She’s the Albanian singer-songwriter who won a Grammy award for Best New Artist.

In the interview she talked about having eggs as snacks. She cooked and fed her interviewer eggs.

In my Flourish blog devoted to other topics I wrote about my change to scrambling eggs and veggies for breakfast.

Hearing Dua Lipa talk about having eggs as a snack reinforces my belief that a music star–or any famous person–can be an inspiration.

In the interview she talked about getting lost in a scroll hole of negative comments about who you are.

Not a fan of social media I understand the temptation to live for “likes” and worry that what you write will alienate your followers.

Dua seems down-to-earth which impresses me.

The interview talked about how women have been standing up and asserting our needs for a long time. Starting with Janet Jackson in the 1990s.

This gives me confidence to stand up for myself and what I believe in.

Ladies: start your engines.



Life at 54

Turning 50 is what it is. Turning 54 is another thing entirely. You’re on the shady side of your early fifties.

In coming blog entries I want to talk about this era in a woman’s life.

How your priorities can change. How your identity can change.

I want to document my efforts to go Green.

I want to chronicle what it’s like to wake up one day and realize your life is getting shorter. Realizing that you have only a limited amount of time to achieve your goals and resolutions.

The future isn’t guaranteed–either for ourselves or the planet.

Like Michael Jackson sang in “Man in the Mirror” I’m striving to help better the world.

So first I have to look in the mirror and change my life.

This starts with having a sustainable lifestyle first of all. Once this is in place you can start thinking about global issues.

Menopause is the right time to make positive changes.

Changing for the better is possible at any time in your life.

I say: love turning 50. It heralds a decade where the possibilities are beautiful.

Not everything might be a bed of roses at this time.

That’s when you put on rose-color lipstick. And go out to get what you want.

Women are conditioned that we have to take care of everyone else.

Now is the time to get our needs met.

I’ll talk in a coming blog entry about an interview with Dua Lipa in Elle magazine.

Along with Arianna Grande she’s one of my new role models.

8 Rules for Conscious Shopping

I’ve been as guilty as anyone of amassing a ton of clothes.

In a coming blog entry I’ll review the book Wear No Evil.

I read this book straight through in one week. It’s great to have on hand as a reference guide to responsible fashion.

My Fashion Challenge is to not buy another shirt, pant, skirt, sweater, or dress for the next two years.

In my own way I do use and wear about 30 to 35 items of clothing per season.

To make it easier to choose and use wardrobe items I’ve come up with 8 Rules for Conscious Shopping.

It really isn’t that great to lose track of how much you spend and what you spend it on. Whether that is clothing, food, or entertainment.

My contention is that you don’t need to have hundreds of items to choose from to be well-dressed.

Editing out the skeletons of wardrobes past that you no longer wear or fit into is the start of reclaiming your style power.

Here I offer my 8 Rules for Conscious Shopping:

  1. An item of clothing you buy should be able to be worn with at least two or three other items in your wardrobe.
  2. Shop to fill in missing items in your wardrobe instead of shopping for impulse buys as a weekly hobby. If you have ten sundresses and work in a corporate office, maybe you need to buy a power suit.
  3. Buy clothing that flatters your body and your color type (a warm or cool undertone).
  4. “Shop in your own closet”—the guiding principle of personal stylists everywhere.
  5. Reject buying clothes that don’t fit your lifestyle—that either don’t fit your life or your style. For help figuring out your style I recommend two books: The Curated Closet and Nothing to Wear? The 5-Step Cure for the Common Closet.
  6. Treat your clothes kindly, and they’ll remain in good condition for the long-term. This will save you from having to constantly replace fast fashion items that can’t withstand numerous wash cycles.
  7. Just say no to a neon green coat. Is neon anything a great look? Only if you’re a pop star touring America with an entourage.
  8. If you’re iffy about purchasing an item, leave it on the rack. The clothes you buy you should absolutely love at first sight. You’ll wear the clothes you love often and get more compliments.