Becoming Who You Are

An enduring quote tells us:

“It’s never too late to be what you might have been.”

Post-illness you can recover yourself along with your mental health.

My persistent belief at mid-life is that you shouldn’t stop doing new things until you’re carried out on your last day.

Make every day a celebration.

I wanted to talk about the necklace in the photo in the last blog entry. The woman took it out of the counter to show me. The tag read Murano.

“I’ll take it,” I snapped because Murano is a famous glass maker from Venice, Italy.

I had bought a Murano millefiore glass bead necklace on a tour of their factory.

The point of this blog entry being that you should not hesitate to give yourself little perks to feel better.

“The Road to You” should be paved with kindness and compassion.

Be not afraid to act and dress a little bolder to make a statement:

“I’m here. I have breasts. Get over it.”

You owe it to yourself to be happy. By expressing yourself through how you style yourself in clothes you can also make others happy.

I’m the resident Fashionista at the poetry readings.

You can absolutely reclaim the good from your life before illness and discard the rest.

I’ve decided at 53 that I want to channel the time when I was a disc jockey on FM radio in the 1980s.

This reinvention started by wearing the outfit in the photo in the last blog entry.

In the coming blog entry I will talk about in more detail about reclaiming yourself after illness strikes.

I’ll talk about exerting your power to be who you are without fear of reprisal.

Tying this in to setting goals in mid-life to get more of what you want out of life.

You can absolutely use your personal history as the springboard for making changes at mid-life.

It truly is never too late to be what you might have been.

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The Makeup of a Confident Woman

green photo

The photo shown above proves the premise of beauty pioneer Trish McEvoy’s new book The Makeup of a Confident Woman.

Not wanting to start taking an antidepressant, I was willing to try any healthy non-chemical option for sparking joy.

I’ll quote from this guide because I think you should go out and buy it:

“There is no vanity in taking advantage of makeup in order to get more of what you want in this world…Makeup is a tool–just like exercise classes are for staying in shape..It facilitates the release of endorphins and can be your champion to the next level.”

You don’t say? Trish McEvoy does.

I put her theory to the test by applying a full face of makeup. The author gets it right: wearing makeup instills confidence.

It’s trite yet true: you feel better when you look better.

Ladies: even though I have a photogenic face I don’t look so hot not wearing makeup.

I’ll be 54 in the spring. I could use a little help.

There are genetic wonders among us who have creamy flawless skin without wearing foundation. More power to them for being able to rock a bare face.

It took me just about 10 minutes to apply this makeup. That’s not a lot of time to give yourself.

The products used:

Foundation: Lancome Teint Idole 260 Bisque N

Blush: Bobbi Brown desert rose

Lipstick: Bobbi Brown hibiscus

Eye shadow: From Naked2 Basics – the 2 lightest shadows on the left of the palette (darker on eyelid lighter on brow bone area)

Eyeliner: Lancome Chocolat

Mascara: Diorshow black

The photo of the book cover is below.

In coming blog entries here I want to talk about other things you can do at mid-life to feel better and have fun.

All of this can be adjunct treatment in addition to taking any medication you might have to take.

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Making a Difference

In the early 1990s I lived in public housing and collected a government disability check.

I lived below the poverty line in America.

On the approval letter the SSDI interviewer had written words to this effect:

“Signs and symptoms do not totally indicate schizophrenia. Yet inability to work at a job renders her eligible for benefits.”

At the time I also collected Medicaid. Living below the poverty line is no joke.

Today in Kentucky the government is set to pass a law requiring Medicaid recipients to work at a job.

The last I heard a lot of people with mental illnesses who are still actively symptomatic might not be able to work at a job if what’s going on in their head interferes with their rational thinking.

My vision of Recovery for Everyone starts with the clock running today.

My goal is to help people recover.

My focus is on what is possible when people get the right treatment at the right time.

In retrospect I can see there was some kind of benefit when I was just starting out in having been in “the system.”

People with mental health issues who receive benefits like Medicaid are doing the best we can when our illness is severe.

At this time we might require government money in the form of checks and healthcare.

To mandate that a person like you or me has to work at a job to receive Medicaid isn’t right.

It’s not right if we’re not in the right mind to be able to hold a job and do well at a job.

Yet this is the trend in government coming to where you live soon:

Denial of the benefits people require to get their lives back on track.

Those who can are writing into law the denial of benefits leaving every citizen to fend for ourselves.

Making a difference doesn’t cost a dime.

Those of us doing well have the duty to help make things better for those less fortunate.

Call or write your elected officials to tell them what you think. Join a protest if that’s more your style.

The time is now to speak out.

The Magnolia Story

Read it now: The Magnolia Story by Chip and Joanna Gaines with Mark Dagostino.

I’m able to watch HGTV’s Fixer Upper house decorating and remodeling show. It features the husband Chip and wife Joanna who have four kids.

The show was an instant sensation. The book is a revelation.

The Magnolia Story is more uplifting and inspiring than any book I’ve read recently.

I recommend buying the book and keeping it on hand to read and savor.

Joanna’s wisdom is the prime selling point for buying the book:

“It was such a blessing to find myself thriving in the middle of the pain. Unless you find a way to do that, there’s always going to be this fake illusion that once you get there–wherever ‘there’ is for you–you’ll be happy. But that’s just not life.

If you can’t find happiness in the ugliness, you’re not going to find it in the beauty, either.”

I’m buying a copy to give as a gift.

More than this, the underlying theme of perpetual miracles given to Chip and Joanna Gaines can seem impossible for others to obtain.

The duo kept having an endless spate of triumph just when the hard times threatened to do them in. It’s best to overlook that they were luckier than a lot of people have been. Their financial struggles came through loud and clear in the book. It proves that they were not privileged; they were just fortunate to have benefactors who believed in them.

Finding your own benefactors could be the sole topic of a book of its own.

I say: use this book to your advantage in crafting your own “magnolia story” for yourself and your loved ones.

Be joyous when others succeed. Be proud when you succeed. Get support from others and give support to others in times of need.

Power your own flowering story’s book with love and compassion.

That’s the true message of The Magnolia Story: kindness can be a raft carrying us over to a better place.

 

Say Yes to Mental Health Treatment

The Republicans are set to vote into law today the gutting of mental health services enacted under the Affordable Care Act while President Obama was in office.

The Republicans are set to roll back progress by eliminating mental health treatment and charging higher premiums for fewer kinds of mental health service.

The Republicans are set to deny mental health constituents coverage for addiction treatment.

It will become illegal to have an abortion. Yet when your fetus turns 18 and develops schizophrenia or another mental illness or a drug addiction there will now be no treatment available for them. Write your elected officials and thank them for this.

Makes sense right? Makes sense to have voted into power the people who are voting today to eliminate funding for mental health services for the very people who need it.

Cue the sarcasm. Is there an emoji for sarcasm? You know where I stand.

If you live in New York State here are the telephone numbers of the elected officials you can call to tell them to vote NO for the MacArthur Amendment that denies citizens treatment for mental health.

Rep. Lee Zeldin Long Island 202-225-3826
Rep. Peter King Long Island 202-225-7896
Rep. Dan Donovan Staten Island 202-225-3371
Rep. John Faso Upper Hudson Vally 202-225-5614
Rep. Elise Stefanik North Country 202-225-4611
Rep. Claudia Tenney Binghamton 202-225-3665
Rep. Tom Reed Finger Lakes Region 202-225-3161
Rep. John Katko Syracuse 202-225-3701
Rep. Chris Collins Western NY 202-225-5265
Tell your congressperson that:
  • The American Health Care Act would leave millions of Americans without mental health coverage and strip Medicaid funding.
  • The recently-introduced “MacArthur Amendment” would let states get waivers allowing health insurance plans to¬†not cover mental health and substance use treatment and charge people with mental illness more.
  • It’s outrageous to even suggest that mental health coverage is optional and to charge people more because they have a mental health condition.
  • Medicaid coverage is also under threat. It covers important mental health services that help people with mental illness get better and stay better.
  • Please tell Representative_______ to keep what works for mental health and REJECT the American Health Care Act and the MacArthur Amendment. Thank you.

I telephoned my guy in Washington. The line was busy. I’ll call again to try to get through.

I’m posting this same blog entry in the Flourish blog.

 

Makeup Haul

I wanted to write about beauty and style again. I’ve been on this kick lately.

You should dress to please yourself first of all. If you ask me “Dressing well is the best revenge.” When life throws you a curve why not hit it out of the ballpark in style?

In October I’ll have been in recovery 30 years–I’ll have taken medication for 30 years with no ill health nor lasting side effects.

My love of makeup and clothes has definitely been a key factor in my success. A couple of reviewers of Left of the Dial pooh-poohed this connection. Yet I stand by my assertion that dressing in your own style works wonders.

Yes: wearing subtle beautiful makeup and dressing in your own style can be a form of mental health treatment–as an adjunct to your regular treatment.

You should absolutely dress well and wear subtle beautiful makeup if you want to feel good about your self when your circumstance in life is less than ideal.

Read the Visual Therapy book Life in Color and take the Visual Therapy Style Type Quiz. I’m a Star Chic by the way–a Star ColorType because of my black hair and pale cool skin and dark brown eyes. The book is a shortcut to finding the clothes and makeup that suit you best.

Knowing your Color and Style Types can prevent you from making costly mistakes when buying things.

I’m so over impulse shopping…and I’ve finally curbed my wandering in drugstores aimlessly buying any old makeup on a whim only to take it home and discover an hour later that it doesn’t work with my complexion.

I wanted to post a photo here of my makeup haul because I’m here to say that you don’t have to spend a lot of money to look good…so I wanted to feature my edited selection. A disclaimer: some of the lipstick comes from Sephora–I can’t resist the allure of that store.

This is all makeup suitable for a Winter season / Star ColorType.

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Lipsticks:

NARS – Rosecliff, MUFE – C211 Rose Wood, NARS – Red Lizard, Maybelline – Smoking Red, Maybelline – Blissful Berry, Maybelline – Pretty in Plum

Eye shadows:

CoverGirl – Not Just Nudes Roses, NARS (not shown) – Nepal (cocoa-rose), Maybelline – Silken Taupe, L’Oreal – Petit Perle, L’Oreal – Violet Beaute

Eyeliners:

L’Oreal Infallible – Charcoal, Sephora – Tiramisu (espresso brown)

Foundation:

Clinique – Cream Chamois

Blush:

NARS (not shown) – Torrid (coral pink), Beauty Salon – Primrose (nude)

(The MUFE translucent powder I don’t even wear anymore.)

 

Finding Our Tribe in Recovery

I say that finding our tribe in recovery is one of the best kinds of “treatment” along with therapy and medication for those of us who require medication.

This month I turn 51 years old. I’m confident when I tell readers that you can have a better life now than you did when you were younger.

A poster on a gym wall beckons: Reinvent Yourself. That’s a great strategy for mid-life: not giving up on ourselves. Setting the bar. Reaching out to try something new to discover a passion that has taken hold: whether for a guy or gal, a house, a career–whatever passion project you want to fund in your fifties.

Giving up is not an option. I have a core posse of friends. One guy has come on the scene like a possible soul mate. If you ask me developing friendships–and possible romantic partners–is the way to go in recovery.

It’s not ever too late to take up new friendships or new projects or new careers. And you can have more than one career at the same time or different careers at different times in your life.

On your birthdays when you’re 50 and older: make an impossible wish. Dream big. Reach for the stars because you can settle for the moon.

Having great friends in our lives can inoculate us from illness. If you ask me isolation breeds illness. I say: as hard as it is to do this: reach out and try to strike up a friendship or romance with a person you’re interested in.

I’m making an astonishing wish on my birthday. I’ll keep it a secret.

My mother’s aunt turned 80 and we celebrated with a party outdoors at a farmhouse. Wooden tables in the yard. Organic food fresh from the farm.

Aunt A. told us she looked forward to every new birthday–and she was 80!

Take a tip from this women: celebrate yourself at any age.

The older a person gets the more important it is to maintain social connections.

I’m going to celebrate with friends.

Fifty-one is a great time to be alive.