Changeover #2

Things change in tiny and big ways when you enter menopause.

One of the humorous shifts for me was that I no longer wanted to wear jeans – denim – dungarees – as a matter of course every day.

They’re supposed to be a democratic fashion item because everyone wears them and likes to wear jeans.

Well I don’t like to wear jeans. I’d rather wear a denim skirt or dress or jacket.

By the time you hit your fifties it’s time to do your own thing not what others tell you that you should do.

What you want to do post-50 and what you were expected all along to do are often at odds.

This is why a lot of women go back to school, ask for a divorce, remodel the kitchen, or embark on other self-reinvention projects.

Like with all things, for me this process started by reexamining my wardrobe.

Out–out went the numerous pairs of jeans. I don’t think I look good in jeans anyway.

It’s so hard to find a pair of jeans that fits perfectly too.

I say: dark-rinse jeans are a better option when you’re going out.

This has been my version of a mid-life crisis: discarding what no longer works. Making room for new things.

The changeover for me started with getting rid of the denim jeans

What happens when you get older is that you suddenly realize that what was okay yesterday isn’t okay today.

It’s time for a makeup shake-up as well.

And for those of us who are looking for love at mid-life the stakes can seem higher.

I’ll end here with this:

Do what makes you happy. If that’s wearing jeans, that’s okay.

So much of these changes involving the need to exert power in a world where women have been rendered powerless.

That’s the bottom line in executing changes in menopause:

Talking control of the narrative of who we are and what we’re capable of doing.

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What’s Right

4 converse

The Accidental Icon blogger Lyn Slater defines rightness as: “The quality or state of being true.”

The word rightness: “Allows us to be in charge.” We take the reigns as well as the reins.

In alignment with Slater I’ve posted my own parade of Converse sneakers:

From left to right: colorful Mara Hoffman – Missoni stripes – navy blue – hot pink ballet.

My rightness has been having the courage to say: “This is it–no more jeans.”

It’s heretic to tell readers this yet I don’t like wearing jeans.

Blue jeans are supposed to be the Great Equalizer–a democratic wardrobe item because everyone wears them.

Only I wear denim at most once a week. What is right for each of us is unique to who we are.

The trick with jeans is to pair them with a sharp blouse or a better jacket.

Part of throwing off the shackles of guilt is to embrace your quirks.

Your “rightness” can change over the years.

Rightness is a state of mind as well as sartorial bent.

What’s right in your life? Find it and express it honestly.

Whether it’s flaunting a pair of shoes or curating a mood:

A woman has the right to be true blue in her own inimitable fashion.

Being More With Less

My new favorite blog is Courtney Carver’s.

She is the woman who edited her clothing choices to 33 items used every 3 months.

I’ll link to her website at the bottom of this blog entry.

Her latest writing is about the Italian ethic of Dolce Far Niente or sweetness of doing nothing.

I’m proud to be Italian American.

Before Carver scheduled time every so often to do nothing in her own words she:

“Ran at an unsustainable pace, multi-tasking my way through the day and enjoying or being present for very little of it.”

That’s exactly what happened in my own life.

Everything changes when you go through “the change.” This is no exaggeration.

Sometimes you need time by yourself to rest and recharge your batteries.

I get what Carver is saying.

More imperative is what she outlines as the Truth:

“Recognize the difference between nothing and numbing.”

“Escaping your busy life with substances and activities that help you numb out does the opposite of intentionally doing nothing.”

Right said Courtney.

In coming blog entries I’m going to talk about my own strategies I’m adopting as a way to Be More with Less.

My new mantra is Go Slow to Move Forward.

Rush, rush, rushing around isn’t good for a person’s mental health. Slowing down and pacing yourself is the solution.

Coco Chanel told women to look at ourselves in the mirror and take off one thing before leaving the house.

I say remove one item from your to-do list before you leave the house in the morning. Better yet remove two items.

Women shouldn’t have to keep doing double the work to only wind up getting half as far.

Won’t you join me and Courtney Carver in enjoying Dolce Far Niente–the sweetness of doing nothing?

Be More with Less blog

Spring Cleaning 2019

Spring arrives in only two days.

The weather in New York City is going to get better–the meteorologist promises.

In keeping with the theme of cleaning out your closet I want to recommend one genius option for storing things: the InterMetro storage rack that’s on sale as of this week from the Container Store online.

Two years ago I bought the InterMetro storage rack to hold more clothes and a trio of hat boxes on the bottom shelf.

Though I’m only five feet tall I was able to assemble this nifty item on my own. I put it together on the floor and lifted it up and wheeled it to where I wanted to keep it.

It doesn’t cheer me that I have a ton of clothes.

Only the storage rack with the canvas cover can give you extra room for your clothes. You can buy an extra shelf to insert at the top or bottom of this rack.

I still haven’t discovered the remedy for storing pocketbooks so that they’re easily viewed for quick choosing and using.

Taking photos of the pocketbooks can help. Otherwise when they’re not stored out in the open you tend to forget which ones you have.

I’ll have to think about the pocketbook dilemma more and report back in here on a solution.

Winning

In an upset victory Max Rose beat out Dan Donovan for Congress for the the Staten Island/Brooklyn seat in Washington.

I was quite surprised by this win. Yet under Dan Donovan’s DA rule the cop who killed Eric Garner in a choke hold was acquitted.

The district that covers Staten Island/Brooklyn (Bay Ridge Brooklyn) has been Republican for decades.

Max Rose’s victory is a stunner to me. I hadn’t expected he would win.

Alexandria-Ocasio Cortez won her Congress bid elsewhere in New York City.

In the U.S. we have elected 2 Muslim American women to Congress as well.

We have elected a Native American woman too.

From the New York Times:

“Women shattered records and precedents. One-third of the female nominees for the House were women of color, the highest ever. A record number of women faced off against other women, from Arizona to New York. Ms. Pressley in Massachusetts and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez in New York were among women who defeated long-serving white male incumbents in party primaries and won tonight.”

In the same New York Times article:

“Despite being more than half the population and the voters, women were still less than a third of all candidates for Congress, the governors’ offices and other statewide executive seats.”

We have a way to go. Yet we can be proud of these gains.

One day I’m confident we will elect a woman president.

Ladies, start your engines.

Rock the Vote

MTV decades ago had the slogan: Rock the Vote.

Years ago a mental health advocate started the “I Vote – I Count” drive to register people with mental illnesses to vote.

Does it really matter if you vote?

I say: go out and vote for the candidate that you think best represents you.

Really, I don’t see myself reflected in government or even in media like entertainment. Except maybe for Arianna Grande who I profiled in here a couple of months ago.

I would go so far as to say it’s a Democrap versus Republicon choice.

Neither of those two parties I think has ordinary Americans’ best interests at heart.

In reality I align with the Green Party.

Dan Donovan is running for Congress on Staten Island, where the cop killed Eric Garner in a choke hold.

People on Staten Island only vote Republicon.

The last Congressman there was convicted of fraud.

The long-term Congressman before him was caught driving home drunk from his mistress, who he fathered a child with.

Who’s kidding who about Hillary Clinton being unethical?

As usual, it’s the woman who’s vilified while men with the right plumbing down below get to do whatever they want.

I kept telling people over and over that Mr. Toupee would win the election.

No one believed me. They thought I was out of my mind to say that. Who’s sorry now.

My contention is that if you want to change things you should run for office.

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez coasted to victory in the primary against a long-time incumbent.

I’ll end here with this: hate has overtaken our country.

Fighting against each other just means we have no energy to fight against those in power who are taking away our rights as we speak.

Do you want your rights taken away?

Go out and vote for the person you think is best qualified to represent your needs.

I didn’t think a guy who called Mexicans rapists was fit to run this country.

Yet I knew he would win.

Remembering Political History

We cannot argue as GOP leaders in today’s news articles claim that “the Dems” are resisting Mr. Toupee’s Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh.

For those who forget history, 2 years ago the GOP refused to even consider President Obama’s duty to appoint a Supreme Court judge when a vacancy occurred.

American blog readers, you and I who forget history are condemned to watching the dangerous partisanship bickering and badmouthing over and over again.

Can I ask you a question I asked in the last blog entry? Have you ever spoken with a rape victim? It’s upsetting.

The taxi driver who often picks me up blasts alt-right radio jock commentary. Yesterday the talk show host vilified women who speak out about having been sexually assaulted.

This [white] [male] alt-right talk show radio show host in his own words called the victims “psychologically disturbed” “liars, liars, liars.”

In all of this we cannot equate seeking justice for victims with being an attack on the agenda of the GOP.

Remember, this same GOP wouldn’t even allow President Obama to do his duty to appoint a Supreme when there was a vacancy under his watch.

The GOP conveniently forgets that no mention of sexual misconduct was made against Neil Gorsuch and he was voted onto the Supreme Court under Mr. Toupee’s rule.

I’m not saying that Brett Kavanaugh is guilty. I simply find it curious that this guy who was allegedly the patron saint of beer pong or otherwise beery and is now teary-eyed over the accusations–I’m saying that something doesn’t add up.

“I’m done” with the sense of entitlement that well-off Americans have been and continue to be endowed with.

It costs something like $200,000 to obtain a 4-year Yale degree. Those students most likely didn’t ever work in a fast food joint or retail a day in their lives.

My first job ever was as a cashier in Mickey D’s–McDonald’s. I wore a horrible brown uniform for 13 months while I attended [a local public] university.

People who claim Kavanaugh won’t repeal Roe V. Wade are mistaken. He will–because he can’t be trusted not to seek revenge for what happened to him.

Okay-go ahead. Vote for the guy or gal who is against birth control, who is against trusting a woman to make the choices that are right for her.

Vote Republican if you want. That is your choice.

I, for one, have lost total faith in the battering rams of our elected officials.

The Brett Kavanaugh affair was the last straw for me.

I have no hope that women, People of Color, and individuals with disabilities will ever get a fair shake in America.

Our government has become a blood sport, with elected officials getting Americans worked up over false issues that mask the reality that citizens’ rights are being taken away elsewhere while we’re not looking.

Mr. Toupee is set to repeal the Affordable Care Act provision that stopped people with preexisting conditions from being denied treatment or charged higher premiums.

Yes, the president is set to roll back this protection for those of us with preexisting conditions like mental illnesses.

President Obama was not without faults. Yet he accomplished some good things, like signing into law The ABLE Act.

Pay attention to what’s really going on behind the scenes: Stripping away the rights of the many disadvantaged Americans while the few in power partake in unrivaled access to success.

Elected officials are deciding our fate whether we like or not.

We can’t give up without a fight.